Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in aeris' LiveJournal:

Friday, June 17th, 2005
12:16 am	sleep is sparse. i am on an airship!! unfortunately that is not the reason for my lack of sleep... the excitement of finally realizing what cloud had promised me when we met... to go on a real airship... i wish he was here. it has been so warming to see everyone else again, cid, tifa... i missed barret's gruff manner. more than anyone else, he is most obviously interested and suspicious of me at the same time. the reason for the lack of sleep is more simple and complex at the same time... i have been having horrible nightmares which i don't even want to begin to repeat for fear that they might stay. i don't want to upset the others, as they're uncertain how to approach me. they all want to know what "happened". well, i'm sorry... i don't even know. i have dreams of the lifestream. dreams of horrible, horrible pain. dreams with him in them... and the horrible fear that the time i spent with him in the heart of the planet was not completely imagined. what is it that i don't understand yet? what is it that is hidden from me and why am i having these dreams? what don't i know yet about the truth... the reason that i am here... and who is hiding it from me? my biggest fear is that i am hiding it from myself. could i know something so terrible that my subconcious mind is keeping it from me? (Comment on this)
Sunday, May 29th, 2005
3:15 pm	Aeris was standing on the beach of Costa Del Sol, remembering (albeit fuzzily) a time when she was here before... things were coming back to her now... she could remember the names and places, she could remember the reasons that the names were in those places... but the confusion of the most recent days had yet to be resolved. Why was she here? And if she was here, was HE also alive again as well? And how as it that she was so certain of his death anyway? So many unanswered questions... Suddenly, out of the corner of her eye, she noticed a firey red, four legged beast that looked... very farmiliar... Sheepishly, under her breath, she said to herself, "Red... Red? Nenaki??" From the other side of the beach, squinting as she walked toward them because of the glare of the sun off the sand, she waved her arms over her head, wondering if she was, after all of this, in some sort of dream. (Comment on this)
Thursday, May 26th, 2005
2:14 pm	costa del sol is painful on the eyes. it's been so long since i've been here, yet everything is exactly the same. one would almost expect to find evil hojo still lounging on the sand with a hive of scantily clad blondes around him. it's obvious to me that out here, in the real world, i have no true skills with which to make myself a living. i cannot possibly expect the "i don't know where i am and need help to get on my feet" excuse to work forever. and i need to purchase a trip back to midgar on one of these boats eventually... so i've applied to the little hotel here as a maid, a few of the shops around here and a clerk, the info booth as a person who can offer desk help... right now i'm randomly approaching people on the beach and offering to get them a drink from the bar nearby for a small tip. it's a start. (Comment on this)
Saturday, April 23rd, 2005
1:56 am	i've been moving towards costa del sol for about 8 days now, i think. i guess i'm hoping to find a boat back to midgar when i finally get there, or something... finding "mom" would be comforting. i've borrowed rides from strangers, against my mother's past advice to me, have slept in the strangest and least comfortable of places... i've spent most of my time sort of "waking up" still, and trying to get my bearings. i'm coming to the realization that something has happened to me that was outside the regular plan for my life and death... something big... that there was an intervention by something greater than myself... and that someone else was there, someone that i was very aware of before "dying"... that time has passed is apparent. nothing is as i remember it, and yet everything is. i'm in a town right now, but i'm not sure exactly where i am. i think that opening up and trying to talk to someone is becoming easier as i become more aware of what is going on, though i still feel so, so lost. (Comment on this)
Friday, April 15th, 2005
10:44 pm	looking around i notice that i'm in a building that is very farmiliar to me... smooth, pearly-white, concave walls... porcelain to the untrained eye, but i know better... i sit up and begin to move. i remember that i was a victim of a stabbinng and look down to the place that should be a gaping wound, but it is not... it is as if nothing has ever happened to me. was i really injured, or was it some sort of dream? there is not even a scar... is as if the episode had been completely undone... it seemed quite real... i felt the pain of cold metal running through my skin, but then, most dreams do seem that real, don't they? i stand to my feet and dust off my dress a bit but it is in sterling condition. out of habit, i fuss with the string that i've kept tied around my neck for ages, it's fine. everything is as it should be. materia. i look down at the holes where my materia should be... is. i have a cure-all linked together and an ice(2) but... *feels through her hair*... my mother's is gone. and where is everybody? i remember looking into my friend cloud's eyes and smiling at him just as... just as... who? who stabbed me from behind? i can make an educated guess, but if that was the case i would not longer exist at all. and where are all of my traveling companions? i get up and go down the circular path in this strange tornado-shaped building which i know to be in the ancient forest to see what has become of my group with some apprehension as to their fates... (Comment on this)
11:15 am	today i woke up. well, that's not entirely true. was i ever sleeping? i find myself aware of many things... that time has passed, that i am not the same as i used to be... that my body has changed... who am i? before today i know that i was aeris gainsborough from midgar, the last ancient... the only remaining cetra, i tried to summon holy and was stabbed through the chest... if i was killed... who am i now? why can't i remember? (Comment on this)